Understanding and Managing our Emotions during the COVID 19 Crisis
I feel so stressed and anxious. What can I do?
Anxiety is a normal emotion. It serves a purpose (protects us, warns us). We can’t get rid of it but we can manage it; It’s important to remember that we are also grieving; we are grieving the loss of our current lives; This might leave us feeling heavy and sad and this is normal too;
When we are stressed we can be grumpy, impatient and easily annoyed. It’s normal but let’s be mindful of it; As parents it’s important to reflect back to our children OUR ability to cope. As human beings, we are attuned to the emotions of others and we impact each other; be aware of your voice and body language and think about how you can communicate more calmly;
Emotions need motion
Emotions have to be expressed. Just as we do with children, we need to acknowledge that we all have emotions and can feel anxious at this time; name it for yourself and find a way to release it before you engage with your children; tell another adult, take a walk, take 3 deep breaths (these are simple strategies that really work ); When we’re on an airplane we’re told that in an emergency we put the mask on first and then we help our child; We need to take care of ourselves so that we can then take care of our children;
Uncertainty breeds anxiety
We feel anxiety when there is uncertainty and that is our situation right now. We can better handle our anxiety by learning to tolerate what we can’t control and focus on what we CAN control right now; both adults and children need to feel they have some control over the current situation.
Here are a few ways to feel control for both you and your children:
Washing your hands well; maintaining social distance, getting enough rest and some exercise, doing things the task force and/or government recommends; checking in with friends and loved ones and creating meaningful moments together are all things we can control and feel good about Now;
If we are rested, eating well, taking care of ourselves, being mindful, the better we will feel and so the better we will be able to tolerate anxiety; we will be building resilience within ourselves and also helping our children to do so;
I’m consuming so much media but I can’t seem to stop:
It’s not your fault! Headlines are deliberately attention grabbing and can create more anxiety. Pay attention to your emotions when you are watching, listening or reading something and check in on your feelings. If you’re getting upset, shut it down.
Stay in the moment:
We are concerned about how all this will unfold and for how long. This is natural. But when we speculate a lot about what might happen in the future, our anxiety increases. If we constantly consume media, we are not practicing self-care. It’s a good idea to schedule time to check in on the latest news rather than doing it throughout the day. Try and place a limit on it and definitely try not to talk a lot about it and have the TV or Web on in the background of your life while your children are listening. Remember, even small children who may not understand all the words will pick up on the emotion.
Switch gears:
Take time to talk about other subjects like what you’re watching on Netflix, a piece of music you like, something you’ve read. Switching topics helps you and those you are connecting with and it is another really effective way of taking control and regulating your emotions.
We don’t have a routine anymore. I feel adrift:
Our lives have changed a lot and we need to forgive ourselves about losing routine. We want to stay flexible. But remember that children are used to high routine and structure from daycare and school. Routine really helps them as it creates more predictability and it replicates our normal life. It helps us all feel more in control;
So try and create a new routine; schedule time for media for yourself as well as your older children who might be accessing it; create time for eating together (this is something you may not have had an opportunity to do for awhile so enjoy it); going outside; doing some school work; playing together and a part; doing chores, etc.
Be mindful that we are less productive during prolonged periods of stress so don’t over schedule or plan and don’t get upset with yourself or others if you do not accomplish what you set out to do that day or week.
Everything feels so difficult and bad:
It may sound silly but this is a time to focus on the positives too. We are hard-wired to find the positives in a situation and so we need to look at this under a different lens. That will help us counter-act anxiety and create more of a sense of well-being. This all in turn builds our immune system and resilience (both physically and emotionally) so it’s really important;
Kahnawa’kehró:non are very funny people we know! So use humour and encourage the making of jokes together. Share with others about what you see as the strengths in the community -things like how Kahnawake pulls together in a crisis - and talk about what strengths can be found in the culture - like the efforts people are making to help each other. Remind each other China is emerging from the crisis now and we will too;
Having meals together and spending more time together although can be challenging, is also a benefit to the family. Take time to appreciate that we have more time to connect and to slow down. We can do something on our “to do“ list that’s been there a long time!
Doing things that make us happy also helps boost our immune system and resilience so think about what that is for you and your children and do it without guilt. Sharing joy is an important part of life and will surely help us through this crisis.
I feel so stressed and anxious. What can I do?
Anxiety is a normal emotion. It serves a purpose (protects us, warns us). We can’t get rid of it but we can manage it; It’s important to remember that we are also grieving; we are grieving the loss of our current lives; This might leave us feeling heavy and sad and this is normal too;
When we are stressed we can be grumpy, impatient and easily annoyed. It’s normal but let’s be mindful of it; As parents it’s important to reflect back to our children OUR ability to cope. As human beings, we are attuned to the emotions of others and we impact each other; be aware of your voice and body language and think about how you can communicate more calmly;
Emotions need motion
Emotions have to be expressed. Just as we do with children, we need to acknowledge that we all have emotions and can feel anxious at this time; name it for yourself and find a way to release it before you engage with your children; tell another adult, take a walk, take 3 deep breaths (these are simple strategies that really work ); When we’re on an airplane we’re told that in an emergency we put the mask on first and then we help our child; We need to take care of ourselves so that we can then take care of our children;
Uncertainty breeds anxiety
We feel anxiety when there is uncertainty and that is our situation right now. We can better handle our anxiety by learning to tolerate what we can’t control and focus on what we CAN control right now; both adults and children need to feel they have some control over the current situation.
Here are a few ways to feel control for both you and your children:
Washing your hands well; maintaining social distance, getting enough rest and some exercise, doing things the task force and/or government recommends; checking in with friends and loved ones and creating meaningful moments together are all things we can control and feel good about Now;
If we are rested, eating well, taking care of ourselves, being mindful, the better we will feel and so the better we will be able to tolerate anxiety; we will be building resilience within ourselves and also helping our children to do so;
I’m consuming so much media but I can’t seem to stop:
It’s not your fault! Headlines are deliberately attention grabbing and can create more anxiety. Pay attention to your emotions when you are watching, listening or reading something and check in on your feelings. If you’re getting upset, shut it down.
Stay in the moment:
We are concerned about how all this will unfold and for how long. This is natural. But when we speculate a lot about what might happen in the future, our anxiety increases. If we constantly consume media, we are not practicing self-care. It’s a good idea to schedule time to check in on the latest news rather than doing it throughout the day. Try and place a limit on it and definitely try not to talk a lot about it and have the TV or Web on in the background of your life while your children are listening. Remember, even small children who may not understand all the words will pick up on the emotion.
Switch gears:
Take time to talk about other subjects like what you’re watching on Netflix, a piece of music you like, something you’ve read. Switching topics helps you and those you are connecting with and it is another really effective way of taking control and regulating your emotions.
We don’t have a routine anymore. I feel adrift:
Our lives have changed a lot and we need to forgive ourselves about losing routine. We want to stay flexible. But remember that children are used to high routine and structure from daycare and school. Routine really helps them as it creates more predictability and it replicates our normal life. It helps us all feel more in control;
So try and create a new routine; schedule time for media for yourself as well as your older children who might be accessing it; create time for eating together (this is something you may not have had an opportunity to do for awhile so enjoy it); going outside; doing some school work; playing together and a part; doing chores, etc.
Be mindful that we are less productive during prolonged periods of stress so don’t over schedule or plan and don’t get upset with yourself or others if you do not accomplish what you set out to do that day or week.
Everything feels so difficult and bad:
It may sound silly but this is a time to focus on the positives too. We are hard-wired to find the positives in a situation and so we need to look at this under a different lens. That will help us counter-act anxiety and create more of a sense of well-being. This all in turn builds our immune system and resilience (both physically and emotionally) so it’s really important;
Kahnawa’kehró:non are very funny people we know! So use humour and encourage the making of jokes together. Share with others about what you see as the strengths in the community -things like how Kahnawake pulls together in a crisis - and talk about what strengths can be found in the culture - like the efforts people are making to help each other. Remind each other China is emerging from the crisis now and we will too;
Having meals together and spending more time together although can be challenging, is also a benefit to the family. Take time to appreciate that we have more time to connect and to slow down. We can do something on our “to do“ list that’s been there a long time!
Doing things that make us happy also helps boost our immune system and resilience so think about what that is for you and your children and do it without guilt. Sharing joy is an important part of life and will surely help us through this crisis.